Thanks Geico

Dani "does geico really save you 15% or more on your car insurance?
Mikey "wee wee wee wee wee"
Dani "Did the little pig cry wee wee wee all the way home?"
Mikey "wee wee weeeee weeee wee"
Dani "wee wee wee wee wee"
Fml

Up in smoke

Couple fighting at the gas station. I just want to scream stop being a bitch and let Sammy go smoke the bong with his friends already....

By the time she was done I wanted to smoke a bong....

When men were men and vampires were scary

My kids wanted me to buy The Lost Boys on DVD. I was happy to oblige. That's the way a vampire should be - brutal blood sucking killers not lovey dovey sparkling pansy boys...

I love you - you love me

When my boys were little I was convinced that Barney the dinosaur was sent by alien overlords to prepare the next generation for the imminent invasion... So when the race of purple dinosaurs on the mothership land - the kids raised on Barney will be welcoming them singing I love you you love me... As this generation nears maturity I just want to make sure they know to run when the purple dinosaurs land!

NO BOYFRIENDS

Dani says "I have a boyfriend". I said "does he know he's your boyfriend?" she says "no". I said "what if he doesn't want to be your boyfriend?". She says "then I will find another boyfriend. There are sooooooo many cute boys at my school". And at that moment my husband who was sitting across town felt a great disruption in the force....

OSU Oregon State - just not right

Mikey: "Dani can I hold your beaver?"
Dani: "yes but you have to promise to feed it lots of wood."
Why couldn't my husband be an alumni of a college with a normal mascot?

going back

Sick and tired of feeling like a single parent.

Typical

At target by a feis. Ry didn't bring a belt or clean socks. Mikey is mooing. Dani is screaming at mikey to stop mooing. James us whining for a fedora. Gary stayed home to get drunk with his friends. Fml