When I grow up

I've reached a point in my life where I am feeling confused and a bit empty. I love my family and I have a good job, but at the end of the day I feel so unfulfilled. I'm not sure what is lacking in my day to day life but when I go to bed at night I wonder if I did enough. Did I make a difference today?

When I was younger I expected great things. After all, I am a genius. Opportunity was supposed to fall in my lap. I was supposed to have an amazing future with an amazing job and perfect family. So what went wrong?

Many many bad choices. I own them. I've screwed up big time along the way. It happens. You move on and get over it. I think I've done a good job of making lemon aid throughout the years. But let's face it, I really want a mimosa.

What is next for me? Not sure. I need to find my passion and make it my focus. The problem is that I have too many passions. And my passions get expensive.

Do I go back to school at the age of 38? It's tempting but I just paid off all my student loan debt and I don't want to take on any more. Do I start a company? I don't think I have the self discipline for that. So what do I do?

To be continued. Maybe.


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Our life on the pageant circuit

I realized that we are nearing the 1 year anniversary of Dani's first pageant.  What's happened in the last year?

1.  Dani received her official Aspergers diagnosis.
2.  Dani also received her official genius diagnosis.
3.  Dani has done almost 20 pageants
4.  Dani has had her hair and makeup done by 7 or 8 different people
5.  Dani has been spray tanned twice
6.  Dani has won countless "queen" and "division supreme" titles, mostly because everyone else in her group has pulled for a higher title.
7.  We have been ripped off by a couple of people
8.  Dani sees a coach at least 2x a month.
9.  We LOVE Dani's coach. 
10.  Dani has pulled one Ultimate Grand Supreme title
11.  Dani is much more comfortable getting up in front of crowds
12.  Dani has her worst meltdowns at pageants
13.  Dani is getting a flipper
14.  We have made amazing friends
15.  We have met a couple nuts - but there are a lot more nice people than crazies
16.  I have screamed "Sparkle baby" at least once
17.  Mikey has done 3 pageants - usually when there's a sweet family discount. 
18.  Mikey doesn't enjoy pageants nearly as much as Dani
19.  I spend a fortune on pictures
20.  I wouldn't trade the experience for anything

Mikey Monster

Mister Michael - the hell child - deserves his own update.  What's new with Michael?

1.  He has a girlfriend who he loves very much.  Her name is Kayleigh and he picked her up at one of his sisters pageants.  He's learning young.

2.  He is a smart little stinker.  He remembers everything.  And he argues.  He's destined to be a lawyer at this rate.  Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

3.  Mikey is the enforcer.  He has to make sure everyone follows the rules.  Maybe he will be a cop?

4.  Michael is the cutest little guy ever.  Actually, if you ask him, he will tell you he's sexy and he knows it.  Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle.  Yeah.

5.  The leap pad is the most awesome device  ever.  It's like crack for 4 year olds.  But it teaches them, so you don't feel as bad about giving them crack.  After one bad day at school, I took away his leap pad.  He started to cry.  "Mommy - I need my leap pad.  It's EDUCATIONAL!  How will I learn without it?"  The same way you learned before honey.  Did I mention he's mouthy? 

 

BUT the most important thing to know about Mikey is that he is my sweet little love bug and I love being his mommy.

Pageant updates

After a pageant break, we are kicking things off with two pageants in February.  We will be doing Covermiss and Gold Coast.  Princess has been working on her routines and is in top form - well for her anyways.  :)  It is what it is and I am trying to do it all on a budget with reasonable expectations given her issues....

Sh*t my 7 year old says

Dani just asked me "during Ryan's knee surgery, did they take out a piece of his tibia?". seriously? Where does she get these words?


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We have pee problems!

I suspect new cat is peeing on the furniture.  I suspect it's new cat because old cat never peed on the furniture before. 

So the husband wants new cat gone asap.  He didn't want new cat to begin with so that's part of the problem.  I'm not ready to give up on her.

I'm going to buy an extra litter box.  I'm going to put that and the cat in the laundry room for a week until she's used to living here.  I'm not sure what else I need to do to make things work but I'm up for any suggestions.  Because I really like new cat.

Another sleepless night

Insomnia strikes again. I can't sleep because I'm thinking about work and money and needing more money and needing to work more and then I can't sleep lol!!!



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