Friday, January 20, 2012

When I grow up

I've reached a point in my life where I am feeling confused and a bit empty. I love my family and I have a good job, but at the end of the day I feel so unfulfilled. I'm not sure what is lacking in my day to day life but when I go to bed at night I wonder if I did enough. Did I make a difference today?

When I was younger I expected great things. After all, I am a genius. Opportunity was supposed to fall in my lap. I was supposed to have an amazing future with an amazing job and perfect family. So what went wrong?

Many many bad choices. I own them. I've screwed up big time along the way. It happens. You move on and get over it. I think I've done a good job of making lemon aid throughout the years. But let's face it, I really want a mimosa.

What is next for me? Not sure. I need to find my passion and make it my focus. The problem is that I have too many passions. And my passions get expensive.

Do I go back to school at the age of 38? It's tempting but I just paid off all my student loan debt and I don't want to take on any more. Do I start a company? I don't think I have the self discipline for that. So what do I do?

To be continued. Maybe.


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